Posted to Sister Zeph’s Journal
By Sister Zeph (written for an anonymous student)
On 08 August, 2015
I am a student at Zeph Education, and my sister and I have faced a difficult upbringing. Our mother was divorced by our father when I was two years old, and my sister was just six months old. Our father remarried, and when his second wife gave birth to a daughter, she too was divorced and brought her child with her.
Subsequently, our father married another woman, who, upon first meeting us, made it clear that she did not want us to refer to her as “mom.” One day, our stepmother gave my younger sister poisoned juice when she returned from school. If it weren’t for our grandparents rushing her to the nearby hospital, she might not have survived.
Our father seems to favor her because she has given birth to a son. She also has two daughters. Not long ago, I made custard, thinking our father would enjoy it. However, while it was still hot, he poured the bowl of custard over me, scalding my hands, which are still painful. He is accustomed to beating us severely.
My sister and I have never seen our mother, never met her, and don’t even know what she looks like. Nevertheless, we miss her dearly. There is no one to embrace me like a mother, reassuring me that everything will be fine, that no one can harm me. But I understand it’s a dream that will never come true. I wish I could find my mother, but I lack any information about her, not even a single photograph.
Sometimes, I lose hope, but then I look at my sister and remind myself that she is very young and my responsibility. She must be happy, and for her sake, I don’t cry; I smile.
We never mistreat our stepmother. We love her and wish she could love us even a fraction of the love she has for her own children. At home, we live as strangers, no one talks to us, and silence prevails. Sometimes, we wish we had never been born into this world. If our father didn’t want daughters, it would have been better if he had ended our lives at birth rather than subjecting us to this existence where we suffer every day and are constantly neglected.
If I were a boy, I could work and earn money to buy her the things she desires. Sometimes, she wants to have chocolate or mango, but I cannot afford it for her. In those moments, I feel trapped in a colossal prison, unable to escape, as if someone is depriving me of the very oxygen I need to survive. However, I haven’t lost hope because I completed my matriculation. Sister Zeph has made a promise to me that I will soon enroll in college. After completing my education, I aspire to join the Army, where no one will harm us or belittle us. I will send my sister to university for higher education, and I will ensure she never sheds tears for anything.